The undead menace

How strange...
even if the stench of rotten flesh came to our nostrils, I thought that it would come from far inland, where is rumoured some unread activities. But in the end, we had to fight undead pirates on this very same peninsula.
This feel so wrong that pirates and undead would be together... unless a stronger power leads them both.
I do not see that happening, and that would mean that an undead force took over fort constance during the 4 days the pirate ship that attacked us set sails.
That would be far better for us that fighting a combined force, but I dread for the captives, if any, that were kept in the fort.

The group is holding so far. But I known nothing best that a common enemy to erase the internal conflicts. However, Leonardo refuses healing from Vistra and does not inspire us the way he did. I can only hope that the future will improve his behaviour.

[4 lines for auto gratification]
By the way, I feared that the poisonous sword I got would be useless against undead, but in the end, they just can't bear my awesomeness (one hit crit + 5 hit killing fire blast power + 1 kill by teleport/lightning power...man, I am good!)
[/4 lines for auto gratification]

What a waste.

I thought Leonardino was a potential great leader with the warrior's code of conduct. Alas for us, he revealed himself as a violent psychopath lead by ego and emotions.

Our pirates captives started to talk. We had informations about the location and the organisation of their base and the fact that the enslaved elves had been taken there.
Although the pirates were receptive to logic and self-preservation, I feared their Captain was a different matter, specially because where I have no issue to free fishermen wanting an extra gold for food in exchange for information on a criminal organisation, I find impossible not to give the Captain to justice to answer to his heinous acts.

I thought that having bested the Captain and forced him to surrender, Leonardino would be able to extract more information despite any counterparts from us.

I believed in him and I trusted him.

For once, I was a bad judge of heart. His history caught up with him. I do not known whether what happened to him, the pirate attack on his village or his enslavement, made him do it, or as I suspect, he is following is own path.

But in the end, the Captain died by his hand. Several times stabbed to death... with obvious traces of torture.

I was shocked. Shocked by his lack of repentance, his lack of remorse and his lack of judgement: It seems the Captain asked for death in exchange for information. A Captain that had lost everything: boat, crew, freedom, reputation... and a Captain that was already heading to the hangman managed to escape justice.

Maybe I am even more shocked by the lack of reaction from Vistra who clearly heard the scream of pain of the Captain...and remained still. My dear Vistra, protector of the poor, the sick and the defenceless, what happened to you? What is this awful poison in your heart? What have you become? Did the horrors of this world taken your resolve? I hope not.

As I said, it seems that Leonardino is walking his own path... and that is not one I want to share.

I stated my case to the halfling captain:

"Captain,
I'd like to report that the pirate captain has been tortured and killed while handcuffed under the supervision of Leonardino. This is against all laws I known and recognise: this was murder and an insane parody of justice. Maybe here it is different but, as the only competent person about ship law, I call upon you to judge this case. I will respect and enforce any sentence you will see fit."

I do hope that Leonardino will see his errors and grow from them before it is too late. I dread the sentence that the captain will call upon him: either I will kill him or he will walk free and we will part ways..

I can only pray the gods we can avoid these two paths.

The Legend of Leonardino

Here is the strange story of Leonardino,
Leader amongst leaders,
Defying Dragons, Demons and the Shadow.
But maybe he was only a tiger of paper,
Because in him was mainly Bravado,
And the deeds were perhaps done by others.

Half breed of pure elf and purest human,
Lost between these two bloodlines,
Just made himself a fisherman,
To prove everybody that he could shine,
Amongst the ducks, he would be a swan,
But in reality, was he worth a dime?

We shall see

His first shot at being a hero,
Was when pirates attacked his village.
But he could only weep in sorrow,
Caught between violence and pillage.
He fell down without a blow,
And carried away like a bunch of sausage.

Taken captive in the pirate ship,
He cried for days below the deck,
Wobbly knees and trembling lip.
Having enough of this sobbing wreck
The pirates sold him for just a tip
It was either that or cut his neck.

Enslaved to do a wizard's bidding,
In a cave below his evil tower,
Everyday digging and digging,
Thought he was doomed forever.
But hope came anew in a bright morning
With those soon to be known as his followers.

A bearded dwarven priestess in a barrel
An elven wizard thirsty for knowledge
Akin to an ugly ranger named...something with "el"
Escorted by an aged drunken swordmage
All now shrouded in mystery's mantle
Whose sole use was the coming of a new age.

In awe of his mere presence
They fell for Leonardino's leadership.
Like their life found at last their balance,
A new goal: to follow his lordship,
Now known for his legendary sentence:
"Gentlemen, I am taking their ship"

His destiny was at last revealed,
His greatness in a word: Inspire
Against him, no evil stays undefeated,
Around him, every act becomes wonder.
Dragons, Demon and even Illithids,
Tremble in their skin and shiver.

He walks the earth and brings justice
Evil be warned! and be careful,
As from him you'll have no kiss,
His wrath and strength never restful,
Defying those who threatened peace,
He charges and shouts
(deep male voice) "you're beautiful"

WHAAAAAAAAT?
It does not sound right,
let's try it this way:

(gay style, singing)

You're beautiful, you're beautiful
I love your skin, its just too smooth!
Your fangs are white, be merciful!
Please don't kill me, I'm in my youth!
You're wearing silk, that's wonderful!
I'm just a worm, I offer truce!

Oh shit, oh shit, I'm gonna die!
Why did I charge, they never follow!
I would attack, but I'm just too shy!
That's too risky, I'll take a blow!
The boat is close and I believe I can fly!
Why do they laugh, it's not for show!

(normal flux)

Alas for the poor Leonardino,
Wanting to write a line in History
With the well deserved title of hero!
But nobody can change his destiny,
When Fate "blesses" you with Bravado,
You should just stick to comedy!

Announcement

Please heed notice,

the famous bard Aquilonius will present a once in a lifetime live performance!

(his perfomance will be posted after the representation).

A first time ever song titled: "Legend of Leonardino"

Follow by a debate: "Leonardino: real or fake?"

Free booze, no dress code. Come numerous.

Bahamut, be prepared for thy servant

(A wobbly shadow in the dark streets of Mashport, it is nearly dawn and everything is calm... actually, not quite as asleep citizen are awaken by a shouting voice)

My Lord! Yes, you flying over there, hear my words!

*hips*

I do not pray often, but when I do, prepare your tavern girls and show your gold!

*hips*

Tyrion is in town ... and he needs to be emptied.

*hehehe*

We left this cursed halfling town and are prepared to bait pirates on their hunting grounds. I am accompanied by youngsters that never put a foot on a deck and not a hand on a dick!

(shut up, we are sleeping)

You shut up, bitch!
Damn ground, why isn't it flat?
I am likely to die, surrounded by midgets and unfuckables in cold waters, but bear witness...

(silence! somebody calls the gards)

Yeah! call them so they can hear me!
Bear witness!: I will bring so many of them down that their blood will crush open the doors of Walhalla for me. The cries of despair from the sluts of the world will deafened the gods themselves...

*hips...hooo, my head*

Tonight, I fucked without restrains, I drunk without restrains, I have gambled without restrains... that is my life, and Lord Bahamut, give me the same in the afterlife!

*Beuuuuuha* (noise of something liquid splashing on a wall)

But... if you can wait a couple of decades, that is fine by me!

*burp*

Regrets?

Well, we manage to get out of this thief plagued city with a clear name, saved captives and information to pursue our quest. Unfortunately, the differences of the means to reach our goal that people are ready to use have appears in our group, to such an extend that Sarielle will part ways when we reach Mashport.
I had prepared a letter for the Captain of the guard in the event that we had to flee the city.
This was not the case as we had the opportunity to explain everything to the Captain and leave free of charges.
However, it was such a nice letter that I put it here:

My Dear Captain,

I have the regret to inform you that we have left your city despite your formal order not to do so.

As you may have learned, attempts at our lives have been made in broad daylight. Having been unsuccessful, they kidnapped our comrades staying at the inn, one of them having left dead in one of your street near the inn, while we were investigating to prove our innocence in the matter regarding the assault on the merchant Raukaus.
The kidnappers, a local criminal guild lead by a Halfling named longshamks and reporting to the infamous Rathos aka Bloodghost, threatened us to kill our comrades if we refuse to murder you.

We were cornered in a city that did not trust us and running out of options. We decided to fight. You may have heard about disturbances in the market district two nights ago, there was the guild hideout. We managed to leave with Longshanks but lost another comrade, an innocent renowned builder by the name of Mandin.

I have the regret that Lonshanks negotiated his freedom in exchange for the lives of our remaining comrades and information regarding our quest. As you may remember , we are tracking the pirates lead by Zakim who enslaved the elven villagers of Leavendale. I regret this because I could not bring this Halfling to justice. But you will surely agree that if our word is not good enough to prove our innocence in a merchant assault, it would have been unsufficient to bring down a notable of this city as a criminal guild master.

I have nothing to gain in explaining you this. I am truly ashamed that I cannot stay to clear my name because I have a higher motive right now. In the eventuality of me freeing the slaves without dying, I will come back and respond to whatever charges you will still hold against me.

As last words, I beg of you to be careful for your life. If the guild asked us to make a move against you, they will surely not stop there, especially if you intend to pursue your cleaning of your city.
In this, be wary of the sergeant that guarded the gate the day of our arrival and his crew, they are Longshanks men.

To conclude, we found the pirates contact in your city: the harbour master. he hides a list of possible target boats in a notebook hidden in a secret cache of his desk. We have discovered that the boat we intended to take is in this list. We are hiding in it and hope to repel a pirate attack and learn more to find the remaining elves.

With the hope that justice will prevail and honour regained,
Yours truly,

Tyrion

Rescue success

Well,
it turned out that the wizard Sionas what not too happy with our performance. To be honest, I think that "not too happy" is an understatement, I would rather say that he was looking at us with murderous intent.
As we had to use magic to get rid of the insect queen ( or maybe because our own wizard had itching fingers... I understand myself), we destroyed what the wizard was looking for in the caves. Needless to say that he refused to free the slaves as agreed and we left, fearing that Sarielle's tongue would get us killed.

Of course, we couldn't let the slaves in this predicament and we planned to free them during a rescue attempt. We had some inside information when Leonardino escaped by himself and decided to act when Sionas would be in a meeting with the mayor. Disguised as workers, Leonardino and I came with a fake delivery of food with fake barrels to make the prisonners escape without the army of halfling workers noticing.

It went immediatly wrong as the guards saw throught Leonardino's disguise but thanks to our charisma and the belief in our just cause, we manage to convince them to let us in and discuss with their boss, Mandin. We were nearly discovered as the halflings made the barrel containing Vistra fall. Hopefully, I manage to cover the blunder and we went in.

It turned out that Mandin was being held inside the tower throught doors magically locked because of sionas' paranoia and with all the workers, it was not managable to break in unnoticed. we didn't know either what consequences could bring the breaking of a magically sealed door... my fear was a angry wizard teleporting right next to us.

Well, we decided to keep watch on the tower to wait for other oppotunities, especially as the worker's pay day was coming. We knew that the finances of the wizard were running low but we ignored to what extend. Desillusion came as the wizard paid the workers as scheduled... but no sooner that we feared we could never free the slaves, that we witnessed the wizard fleeing the tower under cover of the night. As we came checking, the guards were also packing with Mandin and told us that there were too much unrest with the halflings because of our stunts for the wizard to stay around.

We took the slaves with us and travelled with the guards to Fort Eyrie in order to find a boat to bring them home... and of course to put as many miles as we can between us and an angry mob of unemployed halfling looking for scpapegoats.

In the end, we did not heroically freed the slave through an epic fight against evil mages but considering the conditions, I am happy of the outcome of this adventure: slaves freed, no casualties for the innocents and all of us healthy enough too go on looking for the slavers.

To me, that was a full success.

A dangerous path...

The life of an adventurer often leads to dangerous situations, and the group, as an entity, emerges either strengthened or weakened out of it.
I am afraid that our group is slowly sliding along a slope that will lead to its demise.

Although we had a constructive start, and a successful group, the death of Streisand was a serious blow. It happened on our trip to Poisson under conditions that, I feel, should not be talked about. (What the fuck was she thinking? Going alone where we could bring her no support! Silly girl! I could only rush to see her legs being chewed off, stupid! Now it is too late, she won't learn any more).

Hum... anyway, I have witnessed the remaining sisters becoming more and more reckless in the following events. As we were exploring the caves under a wizard tower under construction, Sarielle was pulling the devil's tail by casting magic were she knew it was dangerous (we were warned not to use magic inside the caves) and Adolfielle was running from an encounter to an other without resting or healing.

It lead of course to another tragedy as a guard (Garmish) fighting with us died because we couldn't bring him healing on time. It could have been far worse as my last potion drunk at the last second made Adolfielle escape the jaws of death and Leonardino, also on the verge of dying, was rescued by Vistra.

Of course, all of this takes an even darker shade when I precise that we were fighting, at the same time, a horde of frenzied creatures along their beloved acid-blasting queen mother.

I am used not to this of my own protection, but I think I will have to slam my fist on the table is the group follows this hasty and dangerous path. After all, this is not only in battle that these kids need protection and guidance.

Oh Bahamut, give us the strengh...

The eye of the cyclone

These are dire times for our group.

After finding that the treacherous Vizier left for Relkingham, the group was left undecided. I managed to make it accept the race against time, and against all odds, to catch the Vizier before more evil doings. I am afraid none of us was prepared to fight undead atrocities as well as realising that there are things more dreadful than death itself.

I am happy to report that through sheer determination and willpower, and despite tiredness and doubt, we reached Relkingham well ahead of our best hopes...so well that we could prevent the Vizier to reach his goal.

We managed to enter the temple, through riots, undead and junkies. We had to fight against the mightiest paladin I ever saw, and in his death he took with him a truthful paladin of Erathis, Nietche. I think that none of us realised the corruption the were facing, if it could turn a paladin out of its loyal path.

But duty was calling, and true to our beliefs, we rushed in the temple fo find the Vizier bathed in the wickedness of Vecna, surrounded by undead and ready to battle. We finaly ended this madness, but in doing so, the group lost its innocence. Streisan killed Ghesh while being dominated by the Vizier.

I realise now, that even if I am surrounded by elves and dwarf, they are still children and life had still spared them. How can I explain to them that worse things can always come. That they should enjoy joy and happiness when it occurs because these memories will help them sweep away the sorrow of dire days? They are children, and that is a chance for me to lead them to adulthood.

I hope that Streisan will realise that she was not in the control of an evil priest to reach a despicable goal, but that she was guided by Erathis himself to prevent the desecration of one of his most faithful servant by being turned into Undead. I want to believe that. Because it is easier, because it is better, and because it is the only way to realise the awful truth of life: No matter what happen, you must go on. Because life does not wait for you.

I do not know whether I am a good example for them. I am enjoying everything that life throws at me to protect myself of the evil lurking in the shadows. I like to gamble, I like companionship and love, where and whenever I can find them. It sometimes look like selfishness or carelessness, but I do not want regret or sorrow when I die, and I wish everybody to feel the same way.

We nearly lost our lives in a mad gnome dungeon, and the way Streisan was throwing herself to the danger, makes me fear for her life. But I hope that she will remember that he has a greater goal that died by carelessness or grief...that hundreds of people, of her people, awaits for freedom and her dying will just destroy their hopes.

Courage my children, because worse an better thing will always happen tomorrow.

Tyrion: a lonely voice of truth

Well, I guess the bad actions of my youth are catching up. Karma is a bitch.

First: impossible to get a job in this bloody town, and yet I need money to fund my research. So I end up taking the jobs nobody wanted. I did not think I would end so low as to babysit a dwarf priestress for a pilgrimage. Can't tell you the jokes I had to suffer when I took it...Why? ha, yes, I did not tell you: she is a BEARDED dwarf priestress. Yeah, seriously. And no, no way.

Second: As we travel through a forest when end up in an elven village. No time to relax or find some nice looking company, the village is being attacked by slavers. Cutting through the hordes we exit the village with a fistful of villagers. And BAAM, karma comes back and I end up with the ugly sisters. You would think that elves are good looking (we all saw the posters of Lodoss...man!), but here, I took a severe blow. Between a bearded dwarf and three ugly sisters... I guess I will multiclass in monk!

Three: we reach the penitentiary of Leavenworth...ok, the city of Realkinkham, but there is not much difference: Half the city is under the influence of a drug, if you want to get ou (by boat), you take the chance of having a piece of you cut for calming the wrath of a God, drunk sailor bang at you door at night to get shag and ugly sister sariel wakes you up naked (see second point to understand why it is awfull)...I never thought you could have so many warts THERE.

Fourth: we go to the city of Wylea to plea the Tariff to stop this madness of cutting off people's extremities. So we get a boat and I end up between: a crew of sailor, a bearded dwarf priestress, three ugly elven sister AND A DRAGONBORN. A kind of dracoid humanoid scary as hell. What is wrong with this world? Will I have to call myself "Tyrion the frustrated" or what?

And Five: Although we manage to convice the Tariff that she should cancel this cutting people madness, the vizir steals the paper and wants to make it divine law. Guess what: yeah, we get to fight (well, you know: at the bad place at the wrong time, with the wrong people) and of course (karma) who ends up bleeding to death because stupid paladins think we are the bad guys...yeah, me. Fuck! I have nightmares of the ugly naked sister poping up my head all the time now...

So to sumarize: No way to get laid (I mean, considering the choice of partners), beaten to death by mistake and well position warts popping in my head... this will look so good in books of history or, even worse, in a bard song.

"Hear, hear, this is the story,
of a poor sad man named Tyrion,
willing to let his mark on History,
and end up hoping for Oblivion.

He was versed on using the sword,
and commanded the elements,
but of that remain no word,
and people laugh at his torments.

Skilled bodygard by trade,
he fought to repell the distress,
but miserable is was made,
garding a bearded dwarf priestress.

Still on his way to glory,
he tracks and hunts slavers,
but end ups having for lorry,
the trio of ugly elven sisters.

My, my, it could not be worse,
but fate is treacherous mistress,
females with head like a horse's,
and body he sadly saw undress.

Poor, poor Tyrion the frustrated,
whose balls end up so swollen,
that one day, they exploded,
and in madness he was driven"