Here is the strange story of Leonardino,
Leader amongst leaders,
Defying Dragons, Demons and the Shadow.
But maybe he was only a tiger of paper,
Because in him was mainly Bravado,
And the deeds were perhaps done by others.
Half breed of pure elf and purest human,
Lost between these two bloodlines,
Just made himself a fisherman,
To prove everybody that he could shine,
Amongst the ducks, he would be a swan,
But in reality, was he worth a dime?
We shall see
His first shot at being a hero,
Was when pirates attacked his village.
But he could only weep in sorrow,
Caught between violence and pillage.
He fell down without a blow,
And carried away like a bunch of sausage.
Taken captive in the pirate ship,
He cried for days below the deck,
Wobbly knees and trembling lip.
Having enough of this sobbing wreck
The pirates sold him for just a tip
It was either that or cut his neck.
Enslaved to do a wizard's bidding,
In a cave below his evil tower,
Everyday digging and digging,
Thought he was doomed forever.
But hope came anew in a bright morning
With those soon to be known as his followers.
A bearded dwarven priestess in a barrel
An elven wizard thirsty for knowledge
Akin to an ugly ranger named...something with "el"
Escorted by an aged drunken swordmage
All now shrouded in mystery's mantle
Whose sole use was the coming of a new age.
In awe of his mere presence
They fell for Leonardino's leadership.
Like their life found at last their balance,
A new goal: to follow his lordship,
Now known for his legendary sentence:
"Gentlemen, I am taking their ship"
His destiny was at last revealed,
His greatness in a word: Inspire
Against him, no evil stays undefeated,
Around him, every act becomes wonder.
Dragons, Demon and even Illithids,
Tremble in their skin and shiver.
He walks the earth and brings justice
Evil be warned! and be careful,
As from him you'll have no kiss,
His wrath and strength never restful,
Defying those who threatened peace,
He charges and shouts
(deep male voice) "you're beautiful"
WHAAAAAAAAT?
It does not sound right,
let's try it this way:
(gay style, singing)
You're beautiful, you're beautiful
I love your skin, its just too smooth!
Your fangs are white, be merciful!
Please don't kill me, I'm in my youth!
You're wearing silk, that's wonderful!
I'm just a worm, I offer truce!
Oh shit, oh shit, I'm gonna die!
Why did I charge, they never follow!
I would attack, but I'm just too shy!
That's too risky, I'll take a blow!
The boat is close and I believe I can fly!
Why do they laugh, it's not for show!
(normal flux)
Alas for the poor Leonardino,
Wanting to write a line in History
With the well deserved title of hero!
But nobody can change his destiny,
When Fate "blesses" you with Bravado,
You should just stick to comedy!
